Nation gets sneak peek of next 4 years of ‘real news’ with latest about Joe Biden… and his pets

As the nation is left reeling after four years of ‘fake news’ and media bias against President Trump, Americans are about to get some relief with real news brought to you by the professional media about Joe Biden… and his pets. We just haven’t seen in-depth, hard-hitting journalism like this while Trump was in office. As one commenter put it: “They’re not even throwing softballs at him anymore, they’re throwing fur balls.”

Forget foreign affairs, a historic Middle East peace deal, record low unemployment, a fast-tracked miracle vaccine for COVID-19, or a booming economy. Let’s discuss two dogs and a cat moving into the White House and how that makes Biden cuddly and makes President Trump even more heinous.

CBS Sunday Morning is on the cutting edge of breaking news and they broke this story wide open. This is potentially what we are in for over the next four years… cats up trees and dogs burying bones. They will be followed no doubt by other notable media outlets such as The Washington Post, Reuters, The AP, and of course, The New York Times.

We’ve even been treated to the fact that Biden’s dogs are evidently communicating psychically with a medium in the English Midlands. British daytime TV show “This Morning” provided Beth Lee-Crowther with pictures of Biden’s two German shepherds, Champ and Major. Champ says he needs memory foam bedding to ease problems with his joints. Major thinks he may have dental problems. Both dogs say Joe Biden’s troubles with Donald Trump are far from over, but that their master is calm and focused enough to steer America forward.

And now some breaking news on #SundayMorning…

President-elect @JoeBiden and his wife @DrBiden won’t just be bringing their German shepherds, Major and Champ to the White House. The Bidens tell us exclusively that soon they’ll be joined by a cat. #sundaypets pic.twitter.com/KCkNV6jNpH

— CBS Sunday Morning 🌞 (@CBSSunday) November 28, 2020

Evidently, we have to take the word of Biden’s dogs because they are cute. Such stunning news will be what Americans are subjected to whenever they accidentally tune into the media during the Biden administration.

Charming nuggets such as this one are what we can expect from NBC News: “The fur is set to fly again after Trump became the first president in more than a century to go pet-less.”

The Biden campaign even used dogs to stump for him on the election trail. And the media is all abuzz that Biden’s German Shephard “Major” was named after his late son, Beau Biden, who was a major in the Delaware National Guard. That’s a stretch even for NBC News but it’s reassuring to see the media and Joe Biden once again use his deceased son in a promo.

Pet psychic Beth Lee-Crowther says Joe Biden’s dogs, Major and Champ, told her they are excited to live in the White House. They also say their master will be “a great president.”https://t.co/8avRWAjZRU

— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) November 28, 2020

NBC was quick to point out as well that while dogs have been the most popular White House pets, past presidents haven’t kept just canines. John F. Kennedy had ponies, Calvin Coolidge had a bobcat, Teddy Roosevelt had a one-legged rooster, and Thomas Jefferson kept a pair of grizzly bear cubs on the White House lawn. They are humanizing Biden. It’s classic propaganda.

And Jill Biden is evidently exceedingly easy to please. She spoke of getting a cat in September. When asked if her husband promised her anything if he won the election this year, she replied, “Well, I’d love to get a cat. I love having animals around the house.”

So, Americans need not fear having their news sanitized. With reporting such as this, they just won’t have any news at all. “Journalism” as we knew it under Obama is back but with a fluffier twist.

As Twitchy put it: “The mainstream media have regained water-carrying strength after four years of throwing anonymously sourced kitchen sinks at a president they obviously hated.”

Wonder why journalists have a reputation that rivals rotting cabbage? The idea that this is breaking news… https://t.co/zZnR05as5w

— David Martosko (@dmartosko) November 28, 2020

If Jill Biden announces they're also getting a parakeet, goldfish and an iguana habitat for the White House, the DC media orgasm will be felt on the west coast.

— Angus T. Kirk (@angusparvo) November 28, 2020

They’re not even throwing softballs at him anymore, they’re throwing fur balls.

— Hotep Chopstick (@HotepChopstick) November 28, 2020

This is the most in-depth reporting the media has done on Biden.

Get ready for 4 years of Biden cats and Kamala shoes while the middle class is crushed into dust. https://t.co/CTsDVbx227

— The Dank Knight 🦇 (@capeandcowell) November 28, 2020