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He shouldn’t have blown people up! Boston bomber suing over baseball cap and showers

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What’s a terrorist to do when his amenities aren’t up to snuff? Why, he sues the federal government of course! The Boston Marathon bomber is really miffed that his baseball cap was confiscated and that he’s only allowed three showers a week. So he’s suing for $250,000 according to a handwritten suit filed Monday. That sounds about right – after all, he was treated like a rockstar by The Rolling Stone magazine and featured on the cover. What are three murders compared to attire and personal hygiene? Quick, call a lawyer!

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, 26, is serving a life sentence when he should have been put to death. He was convicted on 30 charges, including conspiracy and use of a weapon of mass destruction, related to the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. Tsarnaev was originally sentenced to death for the 2013 bombing that killed three people and injured more than 260 near the race’s finish line. Seventeen victims lost limbs as a result of two pressure-cooker bombs exploding on April 15, 2013.

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was also convicted of killing an MIT police officer as the brothers tried to get away; Tamerlan died in a shootout with police, during which his brother also ran him over.

The surreal lawsuit accuses the government of “unlawful, unreasonable and discriminatory” treatment of him. His death sentence was overturned by an appeals court to life in prison over a question about jury selection. The decision has been appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

I’m sure after Tsarnaev’s lawsuit that the Supreme Court will see just how badly he’s been treated… not. Who does this guy think he is? Don of the SuperMax? This is why most prison lawsuits are laughed at. If he cared about such mundane things perhaps he should not have blown innocent people up.

Tsarnaev cited the confiscation of a white baseball cap and a bandana and a limit of three showers a week as part of his alleged mistreatment that he claimed was contributing to his “mental and physical decline.” That must be a heck of a cap… maybe that is what holds his two brain cells together. And not being able to shower every day is simply cruel and unusual hygiene.

The judge said Tuesday the filing is deficient because it does not include a “certified copy of prisoner’s trust fund statement” and a $402 filing fee. I would say it is far more ‘deficient’ in standing and is a frivolous lawsuit.

Tsarnaev wrote that his hat was taken because he was told it was “disrespectful” to wear a baseball cap similar to the one he was seen wearing in surveillance footage during the investigation. You know, I thought that when you went to prison you lost most of your basic rights. Doesn’t that apply to baseball caps or are they considered religious in nature? Just asking.

Investigators referred to Tsarnaev as “White Hat” before he was identified because of footage showing him leaving the scene wearing a white cap. The guy seems fixated on ‘white caps’. Someone should intervene.

Tsarnaev is serving his sentence at the maximum-security “SuperMax” facility in a remote mountainous region south of Denver. It houses prisoners including “Unabomber” Ted Kaczynski, Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols and notorious drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman. Wonder what they think of ball caps and showers – perhaps Tsarnaev should ask them.

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