How much do you think Brits cost taxpayers every year to have objects removed from their rectums?

This is going to be hard to believe, but it turns out a lot of people have a very hard time not shoving things up their butts. A new study reveals that over the past 10 years, this habit has cost British taxpayers about £3million, or $4,072,186 in hospital fees. That works out to about $456,964 annually and about 3,500 improvised sex toys in total.

The demographics break down to about 14.9% female and 85.1% male, and “admission peaks were observed in the second and fifth decades of life.” The downside appears to be that instances of foreign body removals have been increasing over time, which will invariably cost taxpayers more and more as people disregard health and safety protocols in favor of a brief moment of pleasure (before the horror of realizing they now have to explain what they’ve done to a doctor.)

Horny Britons cost the NHS £350,000 every year by shoving beer bottles, deodorant cans and toothbrushes in their rectums, study reveals https://t.co/VAjncwF4eg pic.twitter.com/ipeVP1RQ00

— Showbiz (@showbiznotices) November 10, 2021